inhume me, man

yeah- get out your thesaurus.
i had to because resurrection is definitely a first century phenomenon.

so what happens when someone
wants to eat at your favorite restaurant,
takes you to a great music place,
and wears a cute shirt.

nothing if you are the pickiest bitch on the planet.

now i have to figure out how to get rid of him, if i haven't already with my date-nite-monologue about how hot i am, how picky i am, and how bitchy i am. this speech springs forth from my mouth like Clampett oil when i am sitting next to the wrong guy. i can not stop it, and it horrifies me.

all of it horrifies me.
all of them horrify me.
well almost all of them.
and if he doesn't horrify me, he usually doesn't call me.

i really want to make another detailed list hazing men, but i don't even have the optimism to laugh anymore.
i'll list them though.

#9 puma pimp
#10 the five year old
#11 takes 5 hours to get ready
#12 i've known you for 15 years
#13 you must be gay
#14 the franchise boy
#15 talks without listening

there is one person who didn't make the above list because everything that i would make fun of him for is actually what makes him attractive to me. a friend of mine said it best, none of this shit would bother you if you liked the guy- you'd find it endearing.

so...here's to finding someone else who, when he chases his food around his plate with a toothpick, makes me want to kiss him.