top ten reasons i won't go out with you again

i couldn't resist.

10. you've never heard of the starlight mints.
9. you tell me at least 7 times that gay guys think that you are gay.
8. your hands shake when you are near me.
7. you kiss me when i am explaining (nicely) that you shouldn't.
6. you smell like cold chicken grease.
5. you stay in my bed on sunday morning, though you have a home.
4. your primary mode of contact with me is texting.
3. you can't go beer to beer with me, though you weigh 50lbs more than i.
2. you choose tv over music.
1. you have spider fingers that crawl over my skin in trepidation.