10.31.2006

men are from mars

a friend and i were waxing philosophical today about how much being a grown up really sucks. like how you can't buy a pair of $380 boots without some husband looking at you like you want to starve his children (even if you don't have any yet). although i AM divorced, i can still muster some sympathetic, "i know"s and "aint that the truth"s in response to the right brain/left & brain saver/spender conflict that plagues most marriages.

mmmmmm...
spending good.

look.
sometimes a new pair of boots is just better than contributing to your 403b.
and sometimes eating ramen noodles for 6 days is worth it to have a pair of jeans that makes your ass look slammin on a saturday night
(although with the fat and carb content of ramen noodles, my ass looks more like ham than slam... the fatty ham in a can, but less well shaped).

point being.
sharing your life with someone else can be a bitch, somedays.

and growing up sucks.
being 30 is absolutely phenomenal in terms of telling my dad to kiss my ass when he tries to tell me EXACTLY how to chop the celery at thanksgiving, but outrageously frustrating in terms of looking at another human being as the ONLY human being i will ever share a checkbook with again.

i'm not sure that the philosophy of sharing made much of a lasting impression on me in kindergarten. i definitely got nap, mine, and the alphabet... but sharing.
no way jose.

and what's up with halloween sucking, the older we get. unless you are an "i dream of genie" (which by the way is the most tired way of getting away with wearing your panties in public), most don't get a costume.

i think three people got mine.
and yes- i somehow got a real lampshade over my ginormous boobs and down to my waist.
check it out

10.22.2006

one thing

today, i lay in bed all day knowing that there was no other place that i should be.

10.15.2006

oh happy day

today i saw little miss sunshine. i'm going to buy it when it comes out on dvd in lieu of looking for old family 8mm.

ummmm- who the fuck was following my family around in the 1980's.

because down to pushing the vw bus with a jacked clutch,
the obsession with philosophy,
a color blind brother whose dreams of pilothood crash and burn,
stark raving child beauty pageants,
and the suicidal sibling of a parent...
that was all me.
the only thing they didn't get right was the heroined grandfather...

mine just kicked the family poodle down the basement stairs.

10.14.2006

octoberfest

I trace lines in a calendar’s geometry,
the ink in tandem with my desire.
So begins the month of anniversaries.

Somewhere in the black lines,
She reaches the end of her driveway,
Steps out of the car and is compelled to walk
Again through the storm door, past the dog
To turn the dial of the electric stove, again.
Making sure that what she is home will still be
When she returns. Another grasps the handle
Of a door with her ring finger and thumb,
Securing the brass smoothly within her prints, aware
Of things that i can't see. And a small click
In her chest allows her to breathe.
And he keeps the concrete floor wiped
And all things in the place that is their place
Lining up bottles on the counter,
Sentries that battle whatever is at war
With vitamin b, zinc, and the herb that requires we remember.

Decks of cards,
Pencils in drawers,
And sugar packets
I place in rows
Like sunflowers in a Missouri field,
Remembering the moment I knew it,
The hour I said it,
And the minute I did it.
Arranging April 18th, August 28th,
And the coldest night of October
In the home of a woman
Who carefully moves food around her plate.

10.01.2006

rocky top

man, there's nothin like a stadium full of orangely-clad people and a vol thrashin' to put one out of her misery.

oh- add a few cocktails (cause they always help)
and peanuts (we've made up)
good times.
good times, man.

the irony of it all.
of course in a stadium of 60000 people, my ex-inlaws were 12 rows down by the only exit.
nice.

i gotta start volunteering at the mission.