from an angel to the crack

the units came through town yesterday/today for their semi-annual visit to the black sheep’s’ town on their pilgrimage to harrisburg, pa… home of the relatives. as per usual, they fed the sheep and her roommate. the tin angel was the fare (btw. good eats, alton. good eats), and freudian analysis was the modus operandi. i, apparently, “think too much.” i liked the way he held my hand and looked into my eyes meaningfully (thanks daddy). it was romantic. no wait. twas gross and oddly uncomfortable. we don't do emotion in these parts mister. no sir. not this little missy. i guess the meal was worth the free therapy; i highly recommend the sun dried tomato dressing.

of course, i met them for breakfast at the crack(er barrel) out by opry mills. can we discuss opry mills? the only rival for disconcerting place in nashville is cool springs. can't decide which one gives me the heebie-jeebies worse. are rednecks scarier than the neuvo-riche? can i get a line call on this? you're right. it is definitely cooler to be a redneck at the cooter convention and be proud of it. you are who you are. did i mention the guy whose mullet made me choke back my turkey sausage and think, "babies in a blender... babies in a blender" to keep from laughing? my dad said that he looked like neil young. i should have kicked my dad's ass for that. poor neil would never wear the "cooter" emblazoned t-shirt to the crack. maybe to the grammy's.

and as we were sitting around clogging the arterials, my mom wonders aloud what i can do in the summer to earn like, hmmm, 20 or 30 grand (she wasn't kidding)- so that i can stay a teacher and not have to find a new job. my only suggestion was call girl (i was kidding). i figured that i could easily make a grand an hour. her grits disappeared quicker than my ideological philosophies after parent-teacher night. poor mommy.

they drove toward bristol. i slept the day away. life goes on. to be repeated in 3 weeks on their way back through town. maybe for breakfast, we’ll hit bob evans on music city drive this time. it’s so sweet when your parents travel 5th wheel style. so very sweet.