the yellow wallpaper remover

i found my alternative to paxil, not that i've had the balls to take any. recent doctor visits have convinced me that i am crazy. so, i'm now only participating in alternative medicines for my health- so here's my alternative.

1. go to grimey's and buy a cd. something guaranteed- not risky. a band to love whose collection is not yet complete on the ipod. i chose the starlight mints. important to this is flirting with every person of opposite sex in the store. even giggle at the cat at the register. acting dumb is a good ruse. spilling all credit cards and forgetting you pin# interacts well with this medication.

2. go to major book store chain, even though they violate all laws of decency. forget karhma and drool through aisles of shiny books and violent pricetags. spend at least $100 on books that you have wanted to read for months- forget that a library card is on the keychain in your wallet. oh- and buy the stupid piece of chocolate at the counter. flirting with the man in the wheelchair interacts well with this medication- he loves it; it's the best lurid stare you'll get all night.

3. stop at bongo java. try to talk the coffee guy into grinding your beans. he'll talk you out of it, even though you don't have a grinder (never mind trying to figure out how your gonna grind the beans once you get home). then, fantasize about hooking up with the coffee guy who is 2/3 your age and also works at the climbing wall. then scarf a las paletas popsicle. almost hitting 2 hot belmont students in the parking lot interacts well with this med.

4. watch a horibble hallmark channel movie that perverts charisma carpenter from the bitch you loved in buffy to a whiny, fat nightmare (they gotta work on these new-fangled widescreen tv's). then, thank god you don't look like her. she needs to cover up the mole again. puking. wait- is she about to lesbian-out with the chick from "Charmed"? nah. never mind. she's just making friends. and now she's crying in a beauty salon because she doesn't want to wear precious peach polish.

damn.
my life is good.
i'm cured.

this should help too.
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/allthekingsmen/