you are what you love

her stomach hurt when she noticed the lightening bug. it blinked through the last yellow flower of summer. at first, she didn't know if it was anger or bobbie's dairy dip. both tended to make her want to hold her gut and rock in place. and sometimes she simply did.

but not on this greenway.
not near these train tracks.
and not with him, yet.

"really. what would you have done if she had told you how she was doing when you asked? i just don't get why people do that. it makes no sense," he said, five steps ahead.

"what?" she had quit listening when she saw the lightening bug glow.

she looked at his shoulders; they were tight and high. his hands were in the pockets of his grey pants. and he was still walking away toward the light post. that was as far as he would go tonight.

"huh? oh. i would have listened." she returned to the moment.

"really? that's stupid. why do people walk by and ask, 'how ya doin?' no one really cares."

"i would have listened," she replied and almost sat down. indian-style was best. she could always get her arms wrapped more tightly around her waist when she rocked like that. "people are interesting," she said to no one but herself.

she wanted to be held in his palm like a kid does a lightening bug.
she wanted to go back and get the burger instead of a hot dog.
she wanted to be anything but stupid in this last summer space.

instead, she pulled the yellow flower from its stalk, watched him slap the light post to return, and let go of everything she loved about summer.